The photographer’s dictionary (II)
If you want to be accepted as a photographer, you have to speak the lingo. Here are some more (probably useless) words and phrases and a few (actually useful) maxims because I wanted to fill it out a bit:
C47 (noun)
Used in phrases like, “Grab a C47 for the backdrop.” An ironically fancy word for a simple, every day, no-nonsense clothespeg.
Fauxtographer (noun)
An unethical, unqualified, or otherwise fake photographer.
F8 and be there.
A reminder that actually being present to take a photo is far more important than worrying about the ideal camera settings. f8 is a fairly safe, middle setting which will work in daylight and allows for a good depth of field, referring to the lens’ aperture and ratio to its focal length or something and I’m boring myself already.
(see also: The best camera is the one you have with you)
I don’t want excuses. I want pictures.
Sometimes the brief seems unachievable. This was sharpened up for me when hearing about a press photographer working for a tabloid, tasked with taking photos of a celebrity who had been taken to hospital. As in, the newspaper wanted photographs of the celeb lyingin the hospital bed. Almost certainly very illegal. But the photographer was told that if they failed to get the photo, not to bother coming back. I’m hazy on the details, and don’t know whether they succeeded, but that was the gist. Anyway, the moral of the story is that sometimes situations are difficult but you have to push through. Or any photo is better than no photo. I guess?
If your pictures aren’t good enough, you’re not close enough.
This quote from Robert Capa, while it’s probably true for actual proximity, it’s really about emotional or psychological distance.
If you saw it, you missed it.
More for fast-moving situations - perhaps sports, hard news or wildlife, it’s that sinking feeling when you failed to press the shutter because you were watching too closely, or not closely enough.
Lensman (noun,archaic)
A fancy (and slightly forced, somewhat weird) term for a photographer, with the modern alternative slang being (very casual) ‘tog’, or (derisive) ‘snapper’.
Safe shot (noun)
A simple, establishing photo of the subject taken at the very beginning of the shoot. To have something in the bag at the outset is best practice in case something halts proceedings, such as a fire, or (worse) a memory card corrupting.
Spray and pray / Hose it down (verb)
Taking lots of photos rather than thinking, timing and composing, which would result in fewer, and better, results.
Sticks (noun, plural)
A tripod. I’m not sure if anyone actually uses this term.
The best camera is the one you have with you.
This comes from Chase Jarvis and points to the idea that accessibility is more important than technology. Megapixels, aperture and bokeh are always, always secondary to actually taking the photograph. However, the less-annoying response to the question, “What’s the best camera?” is simply, “Canon.”
(see also: F8 and be there)
VAL (noun)
An acronym for Voice-Activitated Lightstand, this is humorous slang for an assistant holding a light. By humorous, I mean, nobody has probably ever used this word seriously.
Whinge (noun)
The collective noun for a group of photographers.
Wideosis (noun)
A temporary affliction caused by the purchase of a wide-angle lens. It causes the photographer to shoot everything really wide and really close, whether it suits the subject or not. In the case of purchasing a fisheye lens, this can be devastating, even career-ending. A similar affliction is caused by purchasing expensive prime lenses where the photographer then shoots everything on f1.2, because prime. This is probably known as Bokeholism, or Primalgia.